how’d you get to be happiness?

this is what happens when pretty girls talk to me.

no need to ask my name to figure out how cool i am.

can one ever love too much? can one ever help it?

a friend is someone who will cry at your funeral, sincerely and honestly. a friend is someone who opens up when you walk in the room, or seeths. But seeths out of love. Either way, emotion is involved. It is entirely possible to love friends as much, if not more than lovers.

what are the costs of being vulnerable? of being hurt?

a lover is someone who cannot see the bad in you. a lover is someone who names all parts of you, beautiful and ugly, beautiful. a lover is someone whose every touch is highly sensitive on your body, whose every touch is sexual. a lover is breathing next to you so close that it becomes your breath. yet, a lover is somehow separate, there is something held back.

what if friendship and love were completely separate?

 

The intersection of friend and lover is a life partner.

could i buy you a dress, or somethin’

reasons why the holiday season is so great:

• music is always cheery/moving (see “Believe”)
• twinkling lights everywhere that reflect off the snow
• snow everywhere crunching beneath your boots and washing the floor when you come home (bonus)
• getting gifts for people; knowing what they got you because you had to tell them
• people donate more to charities
• everybody seems to be in love all the time
• no worries
• jews get angrier because hanukkah feels obligatory to recognize
• that smell that comes off the tree and watching your mom vaccuum the needles up every five minutes
• latkes, latkes, latkes and applesauce
• lying in bed under mountains of blankets, the light from your neighbors’ decorations coming in the window fooling you into thinking it’s daytime
• bare feet hitting the cold floor every morning. time for hot chocolate.
• seeing other people’s breaths and wondering if they’re smoking or if it’s just really cold
• cheer, etc
• yellow snow
• dreidels, dreidels, oy vey!
• reading by the light of the christmas tree
• old ornaments you made in kindergarten that your mom keeps. “i luv yu so mutch”
• +$500 on the electric bill
• that smell that comes from people burning wood in fireplaces
• lying in the snow, everything is silent
• delicious food
• sort of delicious leftovers

reasons why the holiday season is not so great:

• it ends. then what?

that’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight.

don’t panic, don’t rush. take your time because there will always be more. more time for laughing and crying (go now, it’s time to go), more time for working (sleep now & dream), more time for waiting (live now), more opportunities for love, more opportunities for mistakes, more coffee to keep you up another night, more alcohol to drown you another time, more cigarettes to burn through, more sneakers to run holes in, more cereal to pour in your bowl tomorrow morning.

 

at the same time, don’t let it get away. say what you mean to say, do what you need to do, don’t stop until the achy feelings of loss, regret, and reservations evaporate. don’t say no unless you really mean no. or you will regret it, i promise.